Bye Bye UK - Hej Hej Sweden!

After New Years it was back to school, and for the 3 week marathon build up to exams. The terms feel like a race to me. Eight weeks of cramming new information into my head and then a week to find a way to glue it all together before exams. The end of the term was also busy due having to decide during exam week where I will spend my 2nd year of study on this program.

As many of you know the plan (since I got this scholarship) was to move to Wales. There were lots of good reasons to go to Wales. The program is strong, the courses very diverse, and Carys' family would be just 15 minutes away from me! At the end of a week of wrestling with the decision I decided to opt for the program at the Swedish University for Agricultural Sciences in Alnarp. The uni is just about 15 km from Malmo, just across the bridge (and only a 30 min train ride away) from Copenhagen. The opportunity to have more continuity in my life with regard to friends and professional relationships all factored into choosing the Swedish program. My degree from there will be - get this - a masters in Scandinavian and Eastern European Forestry, isn't that a crazy one!

From the moment I took this scholarship I knew I was not excited about moving twice in 2 years and living in 2 different countries. My experience in Japan would not have been nearly as amazing if I had only had 1 year there. It takes a good 6 months to settle into a place and to start making friends. The idea of leaving all that I have started to build here in Denmark really made me sad. So, lucky for me the universe has given me an option to have my cake and eat it too, we need to relish in such moments don't we? So you will all have another year to make your way to Scandinavia for a visit! I wouldn't recommend coming in the winter though ;-)

In these moments of reflection on life and big decisions I look to my Tree. Many of you know about my Tree but for those of you who don't here it is...




















To start, well yes, I drew this. And it is surely evident that I won't be running off to become an artist anytime soon ;-) Although a 5 year old could have drawn this as well as I did, the point of the tree is not the artistry (or lack there of) but the symbolic meaning. I drew this tree after a workshop at the Esalen Institute called Social Entrepreneurship. It was a workshop about how to make your avocation (hobby/interest) into your vocation (job). At end of the workshop we were asked to draw how we felt about going forward after the workshop. At that time my life felt pretty crappy, relationship over, didn't like my job, and didn't know where or how to move forward.

When I drew the tree I thought of myself as being in the middle of the trunk before the branches start. And that each branch was one of the options ahead of me, each one full of questions: would I get the Rotary fellowship? would I find a better job? would I say to heck with it all and go teach English in Valparaiso? would I join the PeaceCorps? I was, in the words of Phil Collins "in the land of confusion". But my theory was (and is), that transition is temporary and it is part of the natural process of life, just like the change in seasons - and that although all the branches had different colored leaves in the fall - that in the spring they would all be green - meaning that whatever choice I made would be the right choice.

So, when I hit a wall of questioning and lack of certainty about what this life of mine is all about (again), and what the heck I am doing in school (again), in a far away place (again), trying to fit in and find my way in a new culture (again) - I know it is a deep questioning that is temporary, necessary and natural and TRY to be patient with myself through the process.....

Happy Chinese New Year!